Who your true friends are
I guess its a fact of life. When you break up with someone that you have dated for a LONG time, it is at that point and time that you find out who your true friends are.
You date someone for 9 years. YOU introduce this person to a group of people. You become friends with the same group for at least 6 of those 9 years. You do EVERYTHING with that group and I mean EVERYTHING.
6 years later you find yourself no longer with the person you were dating/living with while becoming such great friends with this group. The group that you thought were your friends suddenly stop calling you, asking you to hang out etc etc.
When He and I first broke up, the one thing I didnt think I would lose,out of everything else Ive lost due to this break-up, would be my friendship with this group. I never thought in a million years that I would become the outcast.
Apparently, I was wrong, thats what I get for thinking.
Its amazing how people can take sides so quickly and believe everything the other person is/has been telling them.
It amazes me that it can be thought that he had no fault whatsoever in this break-up. That Im the reason for this happening. I am completely at fault, to blame. That he is perfect (Which he even admitted to me that he thinks he is).
It amazes me that these people are being told things that are completely untrue, however, since he is telling them, theyre taking it as gospel.
This hurts so much and makes me cry often, but...the one thing I have found out of this realization, is that there is ONE person, out of the whole group, who is truly my friend.... And for that I want to thank her. I know she knows who she is.
A bit of advice to everyone out there that are friends with a couple that are going through a breakup: There is 2 sides to every story. Don't judge until you've heard both sides and know all the facts. Don't take sides. If you were true friends before, you should still be true friends after.
That's all I have to say about that.
posted by Nichole at 10:24 AM
9 Comments:
Bullshit! I have invited you out to the house, You have made that decision to not be around him! As far as calling people, I don't call hardly anyone anymore. I get home late at night, and work 6 days a week! I resent that, because that ONE friend you are talking about, I know who that is. I have not taken sides, and I will not take sides, I told you that I loved you and I meant it!! The only people we see every weekend is Mike & Diana, cause they are the only ones that are more than willing to make the trek out to the new house.
My feelings have been deeply hurt by that post, if that was your intent then it worked. But either way I still care for you and will always invite you & Brax to any and all functions! :(
Also the phone works both ways as far as calling people goes.
1 more also:
What happened or happens is between you and him, not us!
Nichole, I am sorry that you feel that way. (Guess that explains why I didn't get a response to my email last week.) I know that we never called each other before anyway, so that hasn't changed. True frieds should not be judged upon who calls who, how often you party together/hang out, but who cares for one another and who will be there for you and who you will be there for as well. We will all be there for you and we all still care about you.(I know know this because we've all talked about it over the last month. Remember, there are two sides to every story....)
Anyway, hopefully we can all get past this now that we know how everyone feels.
Yikes, did you guys break up?
I hadn't noticed.
Nicole: I, too, have been alienated from the group. They said it was because Paula revealed the actual size of my mantoy. It just scares people.
If it matters, I haven't heard either side of your story except the stuff you puked out in your blog today. Shame on you!
I too know how it feels to have your best friends abandon you when you haven't done anything wrong. It hurts a lot, but I guess change is a part of life. I'm sure things will get better with time. Best Wishes!
Nichole,
I think you need to step back and take another look at the picture... I know all of the people you are talking about and none of them have ever done you any harm..If you don't know who true friends are then that's something you need to get over...As somoeone has already stated The Phone Works Both Ways... Use it..... You know the group and you know how we always end up together...we call each other and see what's up....Get out of life for Nikky for once and jump down to planet earth..No one wants to see anyone break up with their significant other after many years.. But if it happens no one want's to be on the bad side either.... Everyone you have been complaining about is your true friend...... You just have to realize it.......
The End!!!!
Can't we all just get along. Maybe I'm just weak hearted in the fact that everyone says and writes all this stuff about one another. I am so lucky to have the friends and family that I have and try (in my own way) to let them know every chance that I get. It doesn't really matter what was said as long as the intent was from the heart and not spoken out of anger. I'm not a very well spoken person but I know what love is(Forrest Gump!!) and I also am a pretty good judge of character. I know that all you guys (and I mean all of you) in one way or another care about each other. I hate to see so much anger flying aroung in all these posts. Maybe I'm just a poor sap for believing in love in friendship so much. But oh well, that's who I am and how it is.
I, too, know how you feel. I have learnt that I am my own friend because the people I thought cared stabbed me in the back when I needed them most. And I saw and heard them saying things about me which were untrue.
So you just have to stay strong, you know. Best wishes for everything :]
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