Silly stories my Grandma taught me

Ok, so my sister and I were sitting at my mom's tonight singing "This old Man" with my Aunts friend's grandson (got that?) and we started reminiscing about silly stories we learned as kids. My Grandma Ginny is our favorite Grandma and taught us quite a few silly sayings. Such as follows:

Ladies and jellyfish
I come before you to stand behind you
To tell you something I know nothing about
Next Tuesday, which is Good Friday,
there's a Mother's meeting, fathers only;
Admission free, pay at the door;
pull up a chair and sit on the floor.
One dark day in the middle of the night
Two dead boys began to fight
back to back they faced each other
Drew their swords and shot each other
A deaf policeman heard the noise and came to kill the two dead boys
If you don't believe me ask the blind man, she saw it all



or...

sis on you pister, youre not so muckin fuch. Go back off in your own jack yard

and...

Gobs and gobs of greasey, grimey gopher guts
petrified monkey's meat
little birdies dirty feet
french fried eyeballs drenched in a bottle of

B L double O D

Yes, my Grandma is quite a character. How odd it is though, that my sister and I still remember these quirky lil sayings that she taught us when we were 3 and 7 years of age.